Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
