I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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