are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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