oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
