I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
