Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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