i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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