Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
