i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is my gift to your gina
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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