Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
