Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
