i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
