is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This house was built for laser tag.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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