he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
