Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?