I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.