susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
