Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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