There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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