even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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