so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
