Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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