Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
