she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
