STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
