I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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