I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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