if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When are your genitals available?
we're so committed to being not committed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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