Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
