That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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