Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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