Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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