Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
