you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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