I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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