The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sext me about skeletons
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
