Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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