I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
