hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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