I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
