At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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