I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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