Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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