I cannot find my penis.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your penis caused this!
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