well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
