I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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