that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
