i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
