How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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