My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
two words...techno handjob
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
