please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
