I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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