am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
