Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
