He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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