It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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