My nipple is on Facebook.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
