if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize