I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
