I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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