Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
