normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
