Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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