i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
