did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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